There are two classes of Hillbilly: the semi-domesticated and the government-subsidized hillbilly (GSHB).
The former attempts to earn his keep in society by manual labor and odd jobs. Besides his once a month drinking binge, the semi-domesticated hillbilly is docile and harmless. He's a rustic echo of times gone by, like an Amish man, but in a pick-up truck and with little of the master craftsman skills (unless you consider duct tape beer can airplanes to be a master craft).
The government subsidized hillbilly is another story.
The male hillbilly lives in the section-8 apartment of the female of the species. She collects money for the children she has had from various fathers. There is no family tree for this household, it is a family forest of twisted, gnarled shrubs. The GSHB collect additional money from the government for defective hillbilly children. For instance, a child with ADHD may be called Britni or Billy Ray, but in the heart of GSHB mother, his or her name is "jackpot."
While the semi-domesticated hillbilly expends energy cutting lawns or sawing lumber, the GSHB churns and reels with mindless energy. He spends his day breeding, smoking, doing drugs, drinking, stealing, scamming and generally finding trouble on every backroad and side street.
He dabbles in chemistry, making meth and turning oxycontin into hillbilly heroin. He eventually becomes mired in the revolving door penal system, where is uncouthness is even too much for the career criminal, who asks to be reassigned to a new cell. There is honor among thieves, perhaps, but the GSHB honors nothing except a full belly and dope-addled brain.
The prognosis for the GSHB is not good. If he does not die from an overdose, he's likely to be stabbed or maimed in a bar fight.
The former attempts to earn his keep in society by manual labor and odd jobs. Besides his once a month drinking binge, the semi-domesticated hillbilly is docile and harmless. He's a rustic echo of times gone by, like an Amish man, but in a pick-up truck and with little of the master craftsman skills (unless you consider duct tape beer can airplanes to be a master craft).
The government subsidized hillbilly is another story.
The male hillbilly lives in the section-8 apartment of the female of the species. She collects money for the children she has had from various fathers. There is no family tree for this household, it is a family forest of twisted, gnarled shrubs. The GSHB collect additional money from the government for defective hillbilly children. For instance, a child with ADHD may be called Britni or Billy Ray, but in the heart of GSHB mother, his or her name is "jackpot."
While the semi-domesticated hillbilly expends energy cutting lawns or sawing lumber, the GSHB churns and reels with mindless energy. He spends his day breeding, smoking, doing drugs, drinking, stealing, scamming and generally finding trouble on every backroad and side street.
He dabbles in chemistry, making meth and turning oxycontin into hillbilly heroin. He eventually becomes mired in the revolving door penal system, where is uncouthness is even too much for the career criminal, who asks to be reassigned to a new cell. There is honor among thieves, perhaps, but the GSHB honors nothing except a full belly and dope-addled brain.
The prognosis for the GSHB is not good. If he does not die from an overdose, he's likely to be stabbed or maimed in a bar fight.
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