The hillbilly is a perplexing entity, to say the least. Foreign. Weird.
Here are some of the things I just don't get:
- Why do hillbillies extol the virtues of fast cars when their cars are rusting and stuck on blocks in their front yard?
- Why is that the fatter hillbilly women are, the less clothes they wear?
- Why do hillbillies have multiple dogs and cats... and mistreat all of them?
- Why do hillbillies have tractors and pretend to be farmers... and they can't only seem to grow weeds?
- Why do hillbillies own pickup trucks... and can't tote the garbage from their porch to a dump?
Indeed, the hillbilly is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, encased in camouflage.
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3 comments:
I take walks everyday in the park and everyday I give this old hillbilly a dollar in his cup. You see he is a veteran and is in a wheel chair and has wooden legs. One day I walked by and saw that that mudder f'er had real feet! Go figure! Dang hicks! Irish hicks are the worst.
Call up a local hick meat market or grocery store and ask one of those inbreeders if they have pigs feet. When they tell you, "Yep", you tell them to "Put some shoes on and nobody will see them"!
Dang hicks! Ga hicks/ hillbillies are the dumbest species on this planet.
I allowed a hillbilly to use my barn and pasture for his horses in exchange for help around the property. A year later, he burned my barn to the ground after putting 250 bales of green hay up for the winter (spontaneous combustion). All he could say was, "My horses sure loved that barn," and left me with the cleanup. I asked him to leave. He said, "I knewed that was comin." No remorse, no real apology, nothing. The heat from the barn fire melted the siding on our house and we could have been killed. I vow to never deal with them again.
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