Is The Hillbilly Devolving?

If you stop by any natural history museum, you will notice that our (we, normal people) ancestors--Cro Magnon, Australopithecus, and even the unrelated Neanderthal--resemble the hillbilly.
Both are hunched, hairy, and barely intelligent. (This surely described the hillbilly women.) All that is missing is the bib overalls and stained t-shirt.
Why is this?
Decades of government subsidies and dependence is rapidly devolving the creature known as the hillbilly into pre-modern man.
And now, my friend, who was among the town hillbilly (Hillbillius Suburbus) reports the second phase of the hillbilly's devolution is now underway.
He reported to me that he saw two grossly overweight hillbillies on scooters ... racing along a busy highway, on their way to WalMart. The government, in all its wisdom, is providing people who are obese with the very thing they do not need, a means to be even lazier.
These hillbillies aren't handicapped... they're fat! They don't need suburban ATVs, they need to get off their ass and walk. Lose a few pounds. Move.
Eventually, the hillbilly will be a mass of fat jiggling in front of a television. They'll be tube fed a mash of Twinkies and malt liquor.