War on Drugs=War on Poverty.

The War on Poverty can not be won without a successful war on drugs, and vice-versa.
That's an uncomfortable thought that doesn't appeal to my libertarian side.
And it doesn't sound cool at all. And being cool is more important than being right, just ask Hollywood.
But the truth is the truth, no matter how un-hip, how uncomfortable.
I came to this realization anecdotally and have yet to find any statistics... likely, because it's a dirty, bureaucratic secret that would be deemed too politically incorrect.
Again. Indulge me.
I talked to a few police officers who told me that, roughly, 80 percent of their calls are related to substance abuse. The crimes run the gamut... from mundane (drunk and disorderly) to the violent (assaults, rapes, murder). More importantly, these officers stated that an above average number of these calls originate in low-income and section 8 housing, despite, of course, that most residents do not live in such housing.

You can do your own studies to confirm this. Check out crime stories and the police log in your local paper. I did and the results were shocking. In a recent story on a drug bust, ALL the perps were housed in government-subsidized housing units, even though this was a multi-municipality drug bust.

Let's take it another step: more the number of poor who die from alcohol and drug abuse in a month exceeds the number of soldiers that die in Iraq in a year.
Wow.

Our great and noble WELFARE system is actually ENABLEMENT system. We are paying for people to do drugs. We're, sort of, back-office slave traders who finance the servitude of human beings. We don't want to be troubled with actually helping people; but, we don't want to feel guilty, either.
I'm sure that, right about now, the Welfare proponents would say that drug use is caused by the desperation of poverty.
To which: I respond, "So what?" I am not arguing cause. I am arguing the relationship between poverty and drug and alcohol abuse. Further, if poverty does indeed cause substance abuse; it certainly does not alleviate the desperation of poverty and, actually, exacerbates the pain and hopelessness.
The conclusion is inescapable: a welfare system that is genuinely interested in the welfare of able-bodied men and women must... MUST... ensure that the people avoid harm. Recipients of welfare should be randomly drug tested. And, I'll go further, should be tested for alcohol abuse, as well.
This, is a key element of turning Welfare society into a Betterment society.

Springtime in Hillbillyland

Well. It's almost springtime and the hillbillies are stirring.
For the government subsidized hillbilly, who has spent most of the cold winter cooped inside his Section-8 shacks fornicating and getting drunk (not necessarily in that order), this is a great time to be alive.
If you had a beautiful spring day off, I'm sure you would find a hobby or indulge your current hobbies; not so, for the hillbilly, who has all day, every day off.
No, the hillbilly just can't seem to make it off the porch. It is as if an invisible force field of laziness has restrained the hillbilly to his porch or stoop, like a leash on a dog. This is one reason why the hillbilly's porch is so cluttered. They really wanted to throw those broken toys away... they just couldn't... seem... to... make... it... off... the... porch.
You'll see the early hillbilly riser on his stoop when you go to work. His mind feverishly at working at solving the great mystery of the day--how to buy a pack of cigarettes without expending any energy.
When you come home from work, the hillbillies are out in full force, the only thing missing is the poor special needs banjo boy from Deliverance. (He wouldn't even be seen with government subsidized hillbillies.)
Just think, you probably spent an hour a day working so that these hillbillies could enjoy this carefree lifestyle.
I think every hillbilly should be forced to stretch a banner across the front of his or her porch that reads, "Thank you, American worker."
Although, it would probably take no time for the hillbilly to hide the banner behind broken bicycle parts, ash trays, tattered Halloween decorations, and a film of tobacco spit.

Here's Yer Cup... Urine Testing Government Subsidized Hillbillies

A recent Omninerd post got me thinking...
Not that I'd relish any of our fine health care workers who have to hold the piss cup for a bunch of hillbillies, but why shouldn't we drug and alcohol people who are on welfare or who live in public housing?
In the past year, I personally heard of at least four ODs in nearby public housing projects. And, a law enforcement official that I talked to estimated 70 to 80 percent of the calls he responds to in these projects are drug and alcohol related.
It's also obvious to me, at least, that public housing has become an underground railroad of sorts for the drug trade.
Add a few murder-suicides and I think we can officially say we have a problem, Whitney Huston.
I see a role for Welfare in society, don't get me wrong: it's for those who are physically or mentally challenged, the elderly, and the sick and infirm. If welfare recipients are buying drugs and alcohol, they are stealing from these folks. Strike one.
Remember, this is all about welfare, i.e. providing help. If a welfare recipient does have a D and A problem, they need help. They need rehab. Providing drugs to a drug addict is welfare, it's enablement. Strike two.
Even if you don't have a "problem" with drugs and alcohol, welfare is about necessities. And dope and booze is not a necessity. If you want a six pack and dime bag, get off your ass and earn it like everyone else does, hillbilly. Strike three.
The only problem I have with the suggestion to piss test hillbillies is that it doesn't go far enough. The actual welfare recipient is probably the female. And she might be drug and alcohol free. Meanwhile, there are usually a couple males shacked up at taxpayer expense that are generally high or drunk 24-7.
So, not only should the GSHB be tested, but all male residents should be tested to.

The Hillbilly Equation

There are several ways to assess the fact that the Hillbilly is a detriment to our society.
Let's get beyond the indisputable hygiene question. (If you are ever in a convenience store at 3 a.m. in Hillbilly Country and have unclogged nasal passages, you'll probably disagree with me ignoring this detriment.)
We at the Anti-Hillbilly Association (A-HA) are proving that the hillbilly and his ilk cost decent, hard-working Americans trillions of dollars.
To begin with, there is an inverse ratio between the amount of hillbillies in a given area and property values. If a hillbilly moves into your neighborhood or the government sanctions a GSHB (Government Subsidized Hillbilly) housing project nearby, expect your property value to plummet like the stake of a condemned sign planted in soft mud.
We estimate that there are 4 million hillbilly residents in the U.S. If there are ten properties in that neighborhood, that makes 40 million afflicted properties. At $100,000 per property, that's about $4 trillion. If property values go down 10 percent a year, that's $400 billion each and every time the sun makes it's annual trek around the earth, as the hillbilly believes!
Secondly, the GSHB is a two-time losing proposition for the American taxpayer. Not only is he or she losing property value, but, is actually paying for the privilege of losing money on their property! And, this government waste actually creates more hillbillies.
These revelations raise uneasy questions, no doubt.
Can we stop this cascading spiral into hillbilly bedlam?
Yes. There are solutions.
Are these solutions doable?
Yes, they are.
Palatable solutions for the tender American heart?
Perhaps not.
But, we will explore both the vexing presence of the hillbilly and solutions to the Hillbilly Question in future posts.