Hillbillies aren't particularly Irish and aren't particularly Catholic. They will be tonight, though.The celebration of St. Patrick's Day is indicative of the hillbilly's ability to turn any holiday into an excuse to drink until medical intervention is required. Go into any backwoods bar tonight and you'll find hillbillies face down on the bar, a little plastic green hat askew and a little vomit caked on their L.E.D.-lit shamrock pin.
On St. Patrick's Day, like other holiday, the hillbilly will push past religious differences and intolerance, forgive years of cultural imperialism, and raise a toast to America's multicultural tapestry.
Hillbillies could solve any long-standing cultural grudge with an alcohol-fueled binge. Trouble in Israel? Have a few beers on Yom Kippur. War in Iraq? Knock back some brewskies on the Prophet's birthday?
Hillbillies will show their solidarity for people in Tibet by getting bombed on the Chinese New Year.
As the environment becomes a more hot button issue, expect to find hillbillies passed out on you lawn after a vicious Arbor Day celebration.
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1 comment:
We have hillbillies here in Colorado, oddly enough. They can be found primarily in the Eagle Valley west of Vail. They accuratly refer to themselves as "Mountain Trash".
You're right on the money about them usurping ethnic celebrations. Watching them help the local Hispanic population celebrate Cinco de Mayo is astounding. There is a quasi-Oktoberfest here...in addition to German beer and bratwurst, you'll find (ersatz)-Elvis and grilled corn on the cob, I think to placate the folks that come down the mountain in order to add some provincial charm to the celebration.
Your blog is very amusing, keep up the good work.
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