Thursday, June 28, 2007

Why Socialized Medicine Can't Work

If you go to see Sicko, the Michael Moore film, and get all hot and bothered about socialized medicine, or as he refers to it, "free medical care," I got news for you:
It won't work.
I've seen government-sanctioned hillbillies in action. And it won't work.
If it's free, they want it all.
They will go to the hospital for every reason. Cold, sniffles, cuts, bruises, VD, you name it.
This will eventually choke the system.
Here's my take: if the government can't handle Medicare, Medicaid, Veteran's hospitals, or Social Security, how can we trust them to take over medical care for the entire nation?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Hillbilly Inverse Work Ratio

You rarely see a hillbilly actually working.
They are content to sit back on their trailer porches and watch you pass by on your way to your job, knowing that a goodly portion of your money, once watered down by the sponge of beuraucracy, will make its way into their filthy hands.
On those rare occasions that you do see a hillbilly working, you'll notice something. It's called Smartacus's Hillbilly Inverse Work Ratio.
This law states that for every positive action engaged in by the hillbilly will create an equal opposite action.
For instance, I watched a hillbilly work in the "yard" (actually a weed-infested, junk-filled pit) in the hot sun for over two hours. He was actually sweating!
When he was done, the place looked worse than before.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

FREEDOM!!!

I regret being unable to post in the last few months.
During this time, I plotted my escape from the Hillbilly Kingdom. Within the next few days, I will be moving to a low Hillbilly area.
(And just in time, too. It's fat shorts and shirtless season in the world of the Hillbilly when extra-fat hillbillies flaunt their ample girth.)
But, don't worry I have years of stories and lots of connections to the Hillbilly world to keep this blog going indefinitely!