Stuff Hillbillies Like: Talking Really Loud About Stuff They Like

Because a hillbilly can barely read or write, she indulges the one form of communication that doesn't tax the use of neurons: talking.

Have you ever seen a child who mastered the ability to ride a bike. The child bursts in wild exuberance and pedals madly, screaming at the top of his lungs. Now watch a hillbilly female yucking it up with friends at a Bob Evans, the well-named Cracker Barrel or other note hillbilly feed trough.

It's the same juvenile excitement. It's like it's the first day with her new mouth.

Don't mind being impolite. Go ahead and listen in. It would be like trying to ignore a low-flying 747. The hillbilly wants you to listen to her travails and victories. She'll talk about the deal she got on feminine hygiene products at Walgreen. She'll propose welfare reforms to better support her and her children. She'll wonder aloud when her disability check with come.

The hillbilly is even louder on the cell phone. You wonder why she needs it at all. Her voice can
carry at least a time zone.